The New Car
I bought a new car a few days ago and returned to the dealer the next day because I couldn't figure out how the radio worked. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.
"Watch this!" He said "Nelson", and the radio replied "Ricky or Willie?"
"Willie!", he continued, and "On The Road Again" started blaring from the speakers.
Then he said, "Ray Charles!" and, in an instant, "Georgia On My Mind" began playing. I drove away happy and for the next few days every time I'd say, "Beethoven", I'd get beautiful classical music and if I said "Beatles" I'd get one of their songs.
Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly wrecked my new car but I swerved just in time to avoid them. I yelled "Assholes!"
Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Barbara Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax, and Ted Kennedy on scotch.
This is a great car!